A Single’s Mind

Am I already called asexual if my idea of having a relationship or having a boyfriend will just be holding hands, kissing( not much of this even), hugging, watching movies, sitting in silence, talking about Game of Thrones or whatever movies or tv series we watch, and not have sex, foreplay, and whatever overly intimate deeds that most couple now a days do? 

I’m just wondering. Because I’m the only one in the group who doesn’t have a boyfriend and not fond of the idea of being overly intimate to one’s partner. My friends already had their experiences. I’m open minded about their experiences. We could have these conversations– sex talks, and who kissed who during our sleepover and the like but the idea of me doing it somehow disgusts me. It seems normal to them but not to me. 

And now one friend thinks about setting me up with someone so that I could have a someone.

Can’t I just be single? Alone? and happy? and free?

I mean, I feel lonely sometimes and wonder what it would feel like to have a boyfriend but the thought of my boyfriend asking me to have sex with him immediately appalls me. So I’d rather be single than do that. And because of that, I think now that all guys would ask for more from their girlfriends. So not until a guy comes that would assure that he will hold and suppress his ‘manly urges’ because that’s how he loves me? I would remain single. 

For me, a man that has self-control is more admirable that a man that’s proud because he had been with many girls. 


4 thoughts on “A Single’s Mind

  1. I agree with the last statement there.

    Information fairy time. You don’t have to be asexual to not want sex, but it might make sense to identify as asexual if you feel like you fit the description. The asexual community generally defines an asexual as someone who never experiences sexual attraction. If you think dudes are handsome, but not “hot”, and if you don’t experience sexual attraction to any other genders, then you could call yourself asexual. Since romantic orientation can be different from sexual orientation, it’s possible for asexual people to desire romantic relationships as well.

    • Yes, I would think a guy is handsome, like really handsome but I’m not attracted to him in a sexual way. While others might have sexual fantasies about them, right? But I don’t. I try to think about it sometimes just to try how it would feel but it really disgusts me. IT’S WEIRD. haha. I really think it’s not necessary or whatever. and yes, I’d like to try a romantic relationship but no sex or whatever close to that. But I don’t think I’d find a man like that anymore now a days. It might take a while. haha. thanks for the info btw. 🙂

      • Definitely a good reason to identify as a heteroromantic asexual, then, if you’re comfortable with it.

        Actually, asexual men and men willing to date asexual women do exist, although you’re right that they’re hard to find. Because of that, there are even a few dating websites meant specifically for asexual people. But I think you might find some relateable stories if you want to check out the online asexual communities on tumblr and such.

  2. thank you so much. just followed your blog. im starting to think that there’s something wrong with me (hahaha) because I somehow act and think differently than my friends. they seems so normal, so easy to open up with love and guys and that kind of intimacy but I don’t. and I have no one to consult or even talk about this because they might not understand it. so thank you. 🙂

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