Summertime Sadness

The bloody semester is officially over!!! Summer time. But why can’t I feel the happiness of such a supposed to be relieving event?

The feeling I had on the previous years when school year’s over was that I was so extremely happy that I sometimes don’t study for the finals anymore. I know it’s such a bad thing but I passed all the bloody exams anyway! Haha.

But now. This year’s utterly different. I want to be happy. I want to feel that there’s something heavy in my chest be taken away because that’s how I usually felt. I want to look forward to summer. I want to imagine myself lying on the couch the whole day and get scolded by mum because I’m such a lazy shunk.

That’s not a good picture in my mind but I’d rather have that than worry about school. I think. Or am I just saying this now? I don’t know.

I think I’m just worryng about this thing that I’ll have. It’s like an examination but not the typical one. It’s something more complex than that.

So I will have that exam in a couple of weeks and as hard as  try to be calm about it, I just can’t.

Well, I guess I’ll have keep myself together a few weeks more. I can do this. I can.

xx, K

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